So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
