Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
