how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize