i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
