I'm drive I can fine osifer
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
