she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
