just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
