Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You may now shotgun with the bride
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
