What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
