i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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