he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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