I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
