I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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