I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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