Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
