And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize