I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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