ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize