Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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