I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
