After last night, I could never be a politician.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
