man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize