yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
