hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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