if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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