Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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