so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
