my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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