Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Randomize
