did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I fill condoms, not promises.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Randomize
