You're a womanizer and a bitch.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize