I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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