My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
