what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
