i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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