apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
