she was so not down for the gang bang
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
