sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
