That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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