i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
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