my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
