so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
