i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
