Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
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You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
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Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize