How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I have grass duct taped all over my body
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
