Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize
