Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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