i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
