it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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