If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize