Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
