It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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