Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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