she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
