I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
