My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
