Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
