Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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